The first presidential debate was very bad.

Here’s a summary that includes tech policy issues and also some of the most unhinged stuff we heard tonight.

Things mentioned:

China, tariffs, semiconductor chips, Charlottesville, the border, “space age materials,” the Green New Deal, environment, election “fraud,” opioids, Twitter(???), having sex with porn stars, Hunter Biden laptop, golf handicaps(??????)

Things not mentioned:

TikTok, Facebook, FISA warrantless surveillance, EVs, intellectual property, broadband policy, artificial intelligence (thank god!!!)

In case you were wondering, this debate is supposed to run 90 minutes plus ad breaks.

Googled that for you because we’re all thinking the same thing. And yes it has now been slightly over 90 minutes since the start.

“Will you accept the results of the election?”

It was a yes or no question.

There were a lot of words said, none of which was exactly a yes. Instead, Trump reminded us he still hasn’t really accepted the results of the past election.

Maybe Trump reminding us about his relationship to Twitter in the aftermath of January 6th is not the best move?

On account of, you know, Twitter permanently suspending his account for inciting violence.

Biden is gassing up what his administration has done for the semiconductor industry, likely a reference to the CHIPS Act.

“I convinced Samsung to invest billions of dollars in the United States,” Biden adds.

To be clear, America’s opioid epidemic doesn’t stem from migrants coming over the border.

As Gaby noted earlier this year:

The overwhelming majority of fentanyl seized by Customs and Border Protection — more than 90 percent — is smuggled through official border crossings by US citizens, not by migrants making unauthorized border crossings. 

What is Trump going to do to help Americans struggling with opioid addiction?

Uh, China, tariffs, not exactly answering the question...

FYI, undocumented immigrants can’t get Social Security! Or Medicare!

But a lot of them pay into both. Billions, even!

What are Trump’s environmental numbers?

He says he had the best. He tried to roll back more than 100 environmental protections while in office. Is that what he’s bragging about in the debate?

We had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, H2O.

Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no H2O.

CNN asks what the candidates would do about climate change.

They got back answers about immigration, HBCUs, insulin, and clean air and water (which is not the same as climate change).

“Green New Scam” isn’t as catchy as Trump’s usual quips.

They should’ve workshopped it, is all I’m saying. Green New Steal, maybe?

(In any case, Congress has not actually passed a Green New Deal.)

Really baffling Trump line about how Charlottesville is made up / debunked.

Does he mean, like... that it happened? I don’t know. What a time to cut to ads.

In the middle of a back-and-forth about Jan. 6, Trump namedrops the city of Portland, Oregon.

Just gonna throw out this old Verge feature about the Portland van snatchings.

Trump calls The Atlantic a third-rate magazine.

Trump is extremely sore about The Atlantic’s reporting that he said a cemetery for soldiers was full of “suckers” and “losers,” calling it a lie that was printed in “a third-rate magazine.”

The first presidential debate is on tonight.

The Verge will not be doing a shot every time someone says “TikTok,” but we’ll be posting our live commentary here.