[Warning: spoilers for The Politician, ahead, as well as discussion of suicide]
If you're reading this, it's likely that you are right in the middle of the first episode of Ryan Murphy's new Netflix series, The Politician, and are currently bawling your eyes out. Obviously, you're not alone. Anyone who's seen Dear Evan Hansen starring the 26-year-old Tony winner could have warned you that his angelic voice was practically crafted by the Lord herself to bring you to tears, but if you went into The Politician blind this was probably a bigger shock than any of the bonkers things that came out of this character's "teenaged" mouth so far.
After his former opponent for class president, River (David Corenswet), commits suicide, Payton (Ben) performs a song in his honor in front of the entire student body. River was, after all, Payton's sometimes lover.
Netflix
Well, it turns out the song he's singing is actually called "River," and it's a 1971 classic by Joni Mitchell that has somehow become a very popular song to cover on Christmas albums. Check out the lyrics:
It's coming on Christmas,
They're cutting down trees.
Putting up reindeer
Singing songs of joy and peace,
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
But it don't snow here,
Stays pretty green.
I'm gonna make a lot of money
Gonna quit this crazy scene.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
I wish I had a river so long,
I would teach my feet to fly.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
I made my baby cry.
She tried hard to help me,
She put me at ease.
She loved me so naughty,
made me weak in the knees.
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
I'm so hard to handle,
I'm selfish and I'm sad.
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I've ever had.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long,
I would teach my feet to fly.
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
I made my baby say goodbye.
Say goodbye.
It's coming on Christmas,
They're cutting down trees.
Putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace,
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
Before his performance, River's girlfriend Astrid (Lucy Boynton) told Payton that he was to blame for the teenager's suicide since, just a few scenes before his death, Payton had threatened to out the lacrosse player as gay if he continued to run against him. If the lyrics "I made my baby say goodbye" are any indication, Payton could be feeling the same way. It would be just one hint that he's an actual person, and not just a pathologically ambitious presidential wannabe. You'll have to keep watching to find out!
In the meantime, you can listen to the original right here. It's just as sad:
Entertainment Editor Emily is the entertainment editor at Cosmopolitan, which is a nice way of saying she watches way too much TV and constantly wants to tell you about it.