The Bachelorette‘s live three-hour finale event delivered a fair share of romance, heartbreak, and gasp-worthy moments. And when the pre-taped episode concluded, Jenn Tran and her final two men met back up in-studio with host Jesse Palmer to rehash the emotional journey.

Bachelorette Season 21 runner-up Marcus Shoberg kicked things off by making his way to the hot seat after a deeply emotional, frustrating departure. You can read the full finale recap on Decider, but for now, what you need to know is that Jenn said goodbye to Marcus ahead of proposal day after realizing he wasn’t fully ready for an engagement.

“It’s tough to watch back. That was obviously a hard day for both of us,” Marcus told Jesse. “You can tell there was a lot of love, a lot of feelings there.”

Marcus recalled that the final days in Hawaii gave him a lot of time for introspection and allowed him to stumble on “some painful truths,” so he wanted to be honest with Jenn.

He told Jesse that when arrived home after the breakup, he “had no idea if I made the right decision or not. It took some time to realize if we made the right choice.”

“It was very difficult. I cared. I still care about Jenn deeply and what I found the most difficult is after spending a couple months with her and lifting up…feeling like I was letting her down,” he continued. “I think that there was how I wanted everything to go and there was how things needed to go. I think I wanted it to be me and to be her and the painful truth was that I wasn’t living up to what she said she needed.”

“As much as I cared about her, I think it’s tough to let someone go like that,” Marcus continued. “She’s one of the best women I’ve ever met in my life and the selfish part of me wanted to hold onto that for better or worse.”

When Jenn came out to reunite with Marcus for the first time since she sent him home, she said, “Our relationship meant so much to me…you are such a special person and I care so deeply for you.” Marcus said he “wouldn’t have changed a thing” and “wouldn’t trade [the experience] for the world.”

When Jesse asked when Jenn knew it was over for Marcus, she said that deep down she always knew there was something that wasn’t right, but a moment was when Devin came and knocked on her door and she felt scared that she was losing him. She said the feeling she had for Devin felt different than her feelings for Marcus and was something she wanted to “run towards rather than away from.”

Jenn also said she already knew where her head and heart were going when she knocked on Marcus’ door in the finale, and Marcus said he thought “everything happened the way it was supposed to.” He said he realized that he loved Jenn enough to get out of her way, which was “so against” anything he’s ever done before.

At the end of the day, Jenn said that even if Marcus told her he loved her sooner in the journey, it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but she’s grateful for the relationship nonetheless because it taught them both a lot.

Stay tuned for more Bachelorette updates and follow along with the rest of Decider’s Season 21 finale and After The Final Rose coverage here.