Every now and then a corporation is at least a bit funny when going about their late-stage capitalism. For instance, Samsung has released an absolutely perfect diss-ad response to Apple’s recent crushing PR disaster.

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Just over a week ago, Apple managed to annoy just about everyone with a new commercial that was intended to show both how much creativity could be squeezed into its iPad Pro, and how flat it is, by filming a massive hydraulic press crushing all manner of instruments, technical equipment, paint and devices. It was very beautifully filmed, in Fincherian silvery blues, and caused enormous uproar at the ill-advised display of decadent waste at a time when people are struggling to feed their kids.

Honestly, I doubt for a moment most people actually cared at all (and given that Apple spends vast amounts of money and lobbying to prevent third parties being able to repair its products, and even stops parts being retrieved before recycling, while its workers continue to suffer in horrendous conditions, to almost no fuss at all, it was embarrassingly performative), but it was a good opportunity to be cross with a brand, and it became loud and mainstream enough to force Apple to issue an apology.

But much more entertaining than a fake-ass “We’re so wonderful in every imaginable way, but sometimes our perfection displays the tiniest crack and we’re ever-so-sorry” apology is other brands taking the piss. Step in Samsung.

Now, it’s still just an ad for a product, of course, with its primary purpose being to sell devices and not to express the power of human creativity, but wow; as far as responding to Apple, they nailed it. It’s just so pin-point perfectly recreated, as our heroic lady picks her way through the wreckage left behind by Apple, sits on the paint-strewn press’s base, and performs her woefully banal coffee-shop humming.

Which is fun!

So in 2018, Samsung apologized for the sickness and deaths among its workers in South Korea, acknowledging it failed to “sufficiently manage health threats” in its plants, where dozens of their staff developed various forms of cancer over the last decade. (Kudos to AP for its relentless campaign and reporting on this.) Its environmental impact in Korea is pretty astonishing, too.

Still though, the idea of a Drake versus Kendrick Lamar-style feud between Apple and Samsung would be fun to watch while the world burns around us.

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