Dating has changed, and knowing how to text a girl is a vital skill every man needs.

While you’re learning how to get a girlfriend the majority of your communications will be over text.

…And while texting a girl is less nerve-wracking than a phone call, it adds a whole new set of rules/etiquette to the dating ‘game’… and there are some expectations you should know about how to text girls.

It’s hard enough to meet their expectations when girls can see and hear you… much less with only characters on a screen. 

So… how do you meet those expectations? How do you start a text conversation with a girl? How do you flirt with her over text? How do you make a girl like you over text? All these questions are really the same overwhelming mystery:

So… to help you out, we put together the 26 best tips on how to text a girl. And to make each tip extremely clear, I even included examples of what you should text.

Contents

Why Is Texting A Girl So Important?

Some guys could tap out a novel on their phone screens. Other guys want to keep their messages as brief as possible. Regardless of how you feel about it, texting is most likely the main way you’ll communicate with a girl while you’re getting to know her.

Doing it right will lead to more dates. Doing it wrong… won’t.

That’s because good texting skills will help you show off your charm and show her that you make talking to her a priority. But bad texting can make you seem awkward or uninterested.

So don’t find yourself wondering why she’s not feeling it anymore. Learn how to text a girl the right way.

How to Text a Girl

You don’t have to be a poet to be good at texting. And you don’t have to download a ton of strange apps to make your messages do complicated things either.

The keys to texting a girl are much more straightforward than that, and in most cases they come down to rules we can all live by:

Be polite, show respect, and have fun.

Following these rules will help make the meaning of your messages clear, make you more attractive to her, and let her know that you’re interested in her.

If it seems like those rules leave a lot of grey area, use the tips below to guide you until you master the art of texting a girl.

Here’s how to text a girl:

1. Text her within 24 hours of meeting her

Have you heard the dating ‘rule’ that you must wait three days to call a girl after you meet?

Well get this:

Most girls now expect men to contact them within 24 hours of meeting.

Why is that?

Because it’s incredibly easy to get in touch (you can text, call, Facetime, Facebook, etc.)… so if you wait much longer than 24 hours before texting her, she’ll think you aren’t interested (in other words, texting is easy, so why wouldn’t you text if you really like her?)

2.  Start A Text Conversation With A Girl

Every guy has stared at his phone wondering what he should type to get a conversation with a girl going. You may have even typed up a few drafts before deciding what to send.

Knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl removes all that stress and lets you get straight to chatting.

Whether you want to come across as playful, intellectual, flirty, or funny, text conversation starters are a perfect way to start a dialogue. Also, getting a random text from you will let her know you’re thinking about her… and it will keep her thinking about you, too.

3. Know What To Text A Girl

Once you’ve gotten to the point where you’re texting her regularly, you’ll need to know what to text a girl to keep your conversations from getting stale. Keeping your text conversations interesting makes her confident that you’re the guy to hold her attention.

As you get to know her you’ll find more and more things to talk about naturally, but every now and then you might find yourself needing ideas.

Don’t let texting become a chore. Keep it fresh and fun by exploring new topics and finding new ways to begin and end a day of texting her.

Option #1: Ask Questions To Ask a Girl Over Text

Knowing good questions to ask a girl over text will make sure you’re always ready with something interesting to talk about and can break you out of any texting slump.

The key is choosing questions that suit your purpose. Decide if you want to ask a flirtatious question, a personal question, or a funny question then be ready to respond to her answer. Even the best questions backfire if you don’t show interest in her response.

Option #2: Send A Good morning text For Her

Sending a good morning text for her to wake up to lets her know that she was the first thing you thought of that day. It’s your chance to start a conversation that could run through the whole day.

The trouble with good morning texts is that the same few phrases tend to get recycled over and over.

Send a text with some originality and thought. Show that you care about her day by mentioning things you know she has going on.

Encouraging will make her feel valued and cared for. Not a bad way to start the morning, right?

Option #3: Send A Good night text For Her

The thoughts and feelings we have before bed sink in over night and carry over to the next day. They can even affect how well we sleep and make their way into our dreams.

That’s why it’s important that your good night text for her fosters feelings of affection. Craft a message that gives her a rush of positive feelings and she’ll go to bed with you on her mind.

4. Use her name

If you immediately text a girl using a ‘pet name’ instead of her actual name, she’ll probably think one of two things:

1. “Whoa! We just met and he’s calling me ‘baby’? I’m not his baby yet!”
2. “Did he call me ‘baby’ to be sweet… or did he forget my name?”

…And if you don’t use her name at all, it seems like a generic text that you could send to any girl.

Those aren’t the first impressions you want to give. So for the first text, use her actual name.

And PS: I recommend using her name until you go on an actual date, then after you develop a good relationship, feel free to use pet names.

5. Remind her of something that happened when you met

This is one of the best tips on how to text girls.

Meeting this girl was a positive moment for you… and it was likely positive for her too (you can tell because she gave you her number, right?)

So, in your first text, put her back in that positive mindset by reminding her of something funny/cool/interesting that happened when you met.

My favorite approach?

Remind her of something funny… she’ll associate you with laughter, and girls love a man who can make them laugh!

6. Use proper grammar

The further girls get from high school, the more upsetting it is when men still text like they’re in high school.

You know what I’m talking about… bad grammar, misspelled words, and useless abbreviations (‘2’ instead of ‘to’, ‘y’ instead of ‘why’, etc.).

Here’s the thing:

It takes hardly any time to type full words instead of abbreviations, or to double-check for mistakes before you send a text.

Bad spelling/grammar makes a girl think that you’re too lazy to do those things… so re-form the good first impression (that you’re a classic, intelligent, purposeful man) by using proper grammar when you text.

7. Text her the same way she texts you (‘mirror’ her)

The secret code for how a girl expects to be texted is right there in her texts. Follow her example on these things:

1. How much to use emojis
2. How long texts should be
3. How fast you should answer her (does she text back every 5 minutes, every hour, etc.)
4. How much she likes teasing/poking fun at each other

Letting her set the tone is the easiest way to meet her expectations.

8. Text with a purpose

The whole purpose of back-and-forth texting is to get a date, right?

So don’t send random texts that don’t help you achieve that purpose. Otherwise, she might lose interest in you… or worse, think that you’re just being friendly instead of flirting.

Now… here’s some examples of good, purposeful reasons to text:

• To compliment her (makes her want to date you)
• To entertain her (makes her think you’re flirting)
• To ask her for a date

But remember:

Purposeful texting, even complimenting her, is meaningless unless you actually get to asking her out.

9. Make her wait to hear from you

Girls usually don’t want you to text back immediately every time, but it’s not because she wants you to play ‘hard-to-get’…

…it’s because she wants a man with a job, friends, hobbies, and a life outside of pursuing her. Basically… she wants a man with better things to do than sit around texting.

Make her wait a while in between texts. Don’t answer back the moment she texts you… leave about 15 minutes between your responses at first (then after your first date, match her tone/speed in texting)

10. Send her exciting pictures of what you’re doing

Like I mentioned above, girls want to know that you do have interests outside of talking to them…

…and sending exciting pictures is the perfect way to show those interests.

She’ll be intrigued by your lifestyle, and of course, excited that you want to include her in your fun activities.

How to Text a Girl You Like

So far the tips in this post have been meant to help you text while you figure out where things are going…

But once you know that you’re into her the game changes completely. You need to know how to text a girl you like.

Texting a girl you like is different from texting a girl you’re unsure about because your goals are different. You don’t just want to get familiar with her… you want to show her how you feel and make her feel comfortable doing the same.

The ironic thing about these tips is that they can actually lead to less texting. After all, you won’t be texting her while you’re spending time with her.

Here’s how to text a girl you like:

11. Compliment Her

Figuring out how to compliment a girl can be tricky. You want to be original and flirty but you also don’t want to come across as creepy.

The best compliments for girls make her feel unique. They show that you recognize the things that make her one of a kind. Use your compliments to demonstrate how thoughtful and observant you can be.

12. Say Sweet Things to Her

We’re often taught that men should be tough and control their emotions. We hear sweetness, kindness, and gentleness are feminine traits.

Nothing could be more wrong.

Not only does that thinking prevent men from being their truest, fullest selves, it can keep you from saying the sweet things that your girl longs to hear.

Sweet things to say to a girl can take many forms. It could be an unexpected compliment, a meaningful quote, or a story that you know she’ll appreciate. Just be sure to make your feelings for her clear.

A thoughtful, kind message will remind her that you’re thinking about her even though you’re apart . Sweet texts like that will brighten her day and keep you on her mind long after she reads them.

And they’ll score you major points.

Make your texts sweet, personal, and unique. Embrace your softer side and you might just get a few extra embraces from your girl.

13. Show her your good traits, instead of telling her

I understand you want to show this girl how witty, well-read, generous, and/or wealthy you are.

But here’s the thing:

She doesn’t want to be told any of those things over text. Bragging on yourself like that only makes you sound arrogant, and very few girls find arrogant men attractive.

Instead of telling her straight-out how awesome you are, show her in person. Use texting to charm her into going on a date with you, where you can show her how awesome you are, instead of outright bragging on yourself.

14. Feel free to joke with her, but stay away from inappropriate jokes

I know what you’re thinking… what are inappropriate jokes?

Anything sexual, sexist, racist, insulting or mean.

It’s easy for her to misinterpret any of those jokes (she may think you’re serious), or you may be joking about something that she takes very seriously.

Look:

Be a classic, timeless man in your texts, not a common, crude man. Show her that you can laugh at yourself, and that you don’t depend on insulting jokes to be funny.

15. Remember things she tells you about herself (family, job, experiences)

Women want to be listened to.

…And it’s easy to find a man who will pretend to listen, but much more difficult to find a man that really listens, and remembers what we say.

With that:

You can impress a girl by demonstrating that you’re the type of guy to remember what she tells you.

It’ll show her that she’s important to you… which will make her think highly of you (and probably start thinking of you as a boyfriend).

16. Don’t rely only on teasing her to keep her attention

I wanted to see the available advice on texting girls… so I did a few quick searches like “how to text a girl” and “good texts to send a girl“.

…And, unfortunately, most of what I saw was little more than insults, putting her down in some way, or implying that she’s lucky to know you. I was horrified that men are being taught to say mean things to girls over text to get their attention.

Guys… here’s the thing:

Girls eventually think men are cowards when they constantly hide their feelings behind teasing. She wants you to ‘man up’, and not be afraid to tell her she’s pretty, smart, etc. And she’ll probably compliment you back.

Teasing her gently is a great way to develop a good relationship, but don’t rely just on teasing to keep her attention.

17. Don’t constantly text her back and forth when you can call…

Girls can get confused when you’re constantly texting… she’ll wonder why you’re just texting her, not calling.

In fact, as a girl starts to like you, she’ll want you to call and text, not just text. Here’s why:

As you get closer to becoming a couple, you use texting less and less to communicate… you spend more time physically together, or on the phone, right?

So don’t text her constantly when you can easily move on to the next step of a relationship… calling.

18. Don’t suddenly stop texting her

With the above tip:

You should stop texting constantly if you can call her…

…but you shouldn’t stop texting her constantly with no explanation. Think about it like this:

If you were talking in person, and with no explanation, she walked away… what would you think?

You’d wonder if you did something wrong, or if you were boring her, or if the girl was just plain rude.

…And she feels the exact same when you stop texting her mid-conversation. Look… don’t leave her confused… be polite, and tell her when you have to stop texting her.

How to Text A Girl To Ask Her Out

Eventually your relationship with the girl you like should move beyond the keyboard and into real life. To get to that point you need to know how to ask a girl out over text.

This is the entire point of texting.

After you set up a flirtatious relationship with her, use the phone for its intended purpose, and ask her out. These tips can help you use texting to get that date.

Here’s how to text a girl to ask her out:

19. Flirt With Her Over Text

Flirting is your chance to show her that you want to be more than just friends. Flirting in person involves your body language and physical touch… things that are lost when you text.

That’s why you need to know how to flirt with a girl over text.

Keep the playful attitude you’d normally have and channel it into flirty texts for her.

20. Know How to Tell if a Girl Likes You Over Text

Here at Mantelligence, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about the signs a girl likes you.

Unfortunately, a lot of the signs she displays in person don’t come across digitally. That means you need to know how to tell if a girl likes you over text.

Since you can’t read her body language, you have to get your clues from the way she texts. This isn’t a secret code she uses, it’s just the natural way a girl will text you when she likes you.

21. Use texting to get to know her better

Since you know she’s interested in getting to know you better (if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t still be talking to you), you can start to get more personal in your texts.

Asking her those personal questions signals your interest in getting to know her…

…and that makes her feel appreciated… and think of you as a boyfriend.

PS. Don’t use texting to ask questions that’re too serious… check out this post to see which questions are interesting and personal, and which ones are too serious for early dating.

22. Remember when she has something exciting happening

This tip is related to “Remember things she tells you” above, but goes a little further, romantically.

Instead of just showing that you remember things about her, send encouraging, ‘sweet’ texts (the kind that a boyfriend would send) when she mentions something big in her life.

For example:

If she’s got a test, a presentation at work, a relative visiting, or an exciting night planned, text her before and wish her the best. It shows that you care to remember what’s going on in her life, and that you’ll be there to support her in the future.

23. Leave sex out of texting

Guys, if you’re wondering how to text a girl (and flirt with her over text)… this is important (and really simple):

Tell a girl that she’s attractive without sexualizing her. Continue to act like a gentleman in your texts, and don’t ever make these mistakes:

• Do not ask for sexy pictures of her until you’ve physically seen her body.
• Do not describe what you want to do with her until she’s physically let you do it.
• Do not ever, ever, ever send her pictures of you without her asking.

I can promise you, girls see any of these actions as a huge turn-off. They make her feel like a sexual object, not a beautiful, respected woman.

24. Show her the best version of yourself

This tip has two meanings:

1. Remember to be yourself (don’t be ‘fake’ over texting)
2. Be the best version of yourself (don’t text things you should save for an in-person conversation)

The first one’s easy: don’t sound like someone else over text. Only text things you’re comfortable with, so that she’s reading texts from the real you.

But with that:

Dating is about slowly sharing your life with a girl, so don’t let her know over text, right off the bat, the little things that you should save for later (like that you can’t wash your lucky jersey during the game season, no matter how many times you wear it).

Here’s the bottom line:

If you’re a little dorky, don’t hide it. If you want to dote on her a little, don’t hide it. You should be yourself, but don’t let all your secrets out to her over text. She’ll find them all out in time.

25. Ask her out… after no more than two days of texting

You want to date this girl, not have a lifelong text relationship (that sounds so boring, right?).

Knowing that, if you’re texting back-and-forth with her (more than 10 exchanged texts each per day), don’t wait more than two days before asking her on a date. Here’s why you do that:

Girls usually assume men don’t have any real interest in dating if you text constantly without asking them out.

…So don’t let her write you off before you even have a chance. Get to the point… ask her out.

26. But remember, ask her out, don’t tell her you’re taking her out

A lot of websites with advice on how to text girls advise that when you ask a girl out over text… to be bold and direct.

And it’s partly good advice… girls do want you to directly define your time together as a date.

But here’s the thing:

Most of those sites also advise you to tell a girl you’re taking her out, instead of asking her (see the examples below). But the truth is… telling her like that usually comes across as pushy.

Make it clear you’re asking for a date, but remember to ask. 

PS. This rule applies to asking a girl out over text or on the phone!

How To Text A Girl After She Didn’t Text Back

Texting has become a huge part of dating because of how easy and convenient it makes communication.

So… if texting is so easy why is that she didn’t text back?

This might hurt, but if she didn’t text you back it’s because she chose not to.

Getting ghosted is today’s version of getting rejected… the only thing you can do is pick yourself, dust yourself off, and keep on moving.

Don’t keep texting if it’s not going anywhere

This tip on how to text a girl is short and sweet:

If a girl likes you, she dates you.

She won’t have endless scheduling conflicts, cancel dates because things ‘come up’ at the last minute, or wait days before texting you back.

But here’s the problem most guys run into:

If a girl doesn’t like you, she probably won’t tell you flat-out… girls are taught to let men down gently, and it’s very hard for them to flat-out turn a man down.

Instead, she’ll subtly let you know she’s not interested (she’ll have those scheduling conflicts, cancel dates last minute, and not text back).

Now:

If she’s constantly doing any of those things, she’s probably not into you… so move on to a girl who is.

More Ways On How To Get The Girl

True love takes work but we’re here to make it easier. Check out these links for more ways to get the girl.

1. Put your best foot forward and learn how to talk to girls.
2. Bust out the charm and master how to flirt with a girl.
3. Learn how to get a girls number so you can keep the flirting going.
4. Learn how to impress a girl without looking desperate.
5. Make her swoon with these love messages to her.

In Conclusion

With all these tips you know how to text a girl in any stage of the relationship.

Knowing how to text girls is one of the most important skills for how to get a girlfriend. But just because it’s important doesn’t mean it should be difficult. After all, texting a girl should be fun… not stressful.

So charge your phone and warm up your thumbs. You’re now an expert in how to text a girl.