Congratulations, Dallas Cowboys fans. The Eagles have offered an early Christmas gift, wrapping up the NFC East crown for Big D. Are you excited? Be careful.

Last Sunday night, I watched quarterback Tom Brady spew fire from his eyeballs. Unlike the Dallas Cowboys, the New England Patriots are a lock for the playoffs. And yet, here is the G.O.A.T. with his multiple Super Bowl rings and accolades, hooting and hollering for his offense to perform better.

Now, let’s blow up this picture and took a slightly deeper look. At the time, the Patriots were 10-1 and fending off the Baltimore Ravens for the top seed on the AFC side of things. Again, Brady and his coaching guru, Bill Belichick, have more rings than the Dallas Cowboys organization but are still fighting like there is no tomorrow.

Ladies and gentlemen, I did not witness clapping or cheerleading. I saw a whole lot of frustration, head-scratching and yelling, but overall, New England fought and fought with the Houston Texans to the very end. Suddenly, the organization fell to 10-2 and the world around them is shattering like an earthquake underneath a city.

Meanwhile, the Dallas Cowboys are now 0-5 when competing with teams above .500, which includes the Super Bowl champs, the Patriots. The head coach in Big D won’t fire his kicker. Recently, he called up a genius audible to practice outside because the weather in Chicago can be chilly this time of year. I believe he is entitled to an extra scoop of ice cream after dinner.

The owner and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys, Mr. Jerry Jones, is adamant that Jason Garrett is both Tom Landry and Roger Staubach, that he can somehow deliver a Hail Mary and defeat the odds.

But the worst of the worst is this simple sad fact: The NFC East crown is given away not to the victor, but the team that plays a little less ugly than the rest of the division.

Let me remind you, I’ve witnessed this organization advance to four consecutive NFC Championship games, winning three of them and earning three Super Bowl titles during that span. Now, all of sudden, I am supposed to celebrate the failure of my competition while clapping for the underdog in the Miami Dolphins?

Please. The Star is all my eyes follow, but it’s become customary to hope and pray the rest of the division gets an “F” so that the ‘Boys can advance. Give me a break. Once upon a time, the Dallas Cowboys were so hated for their success but fans couldn’t indulge in the hate because they were busy licking Lombardi Trophies.

These days, Dallas Cowboys fans are no different from Eagles or Redskins fans with the swapping of hate. Frankly, It’s embarrassing. As a fan base, we’re arguing who is the better of a 6-6 record. Meanwhile, over in New England, where it’s probably snowing and chilly as heck, Tom Brady, at the age of 42, is figuring out how to get better so his team doesn’t fall to 10-3.

My goodness. Poor Tom. The idea of losing two straight and collapsing to 10-3 before entering the playoffs, which is all but locked down. I feel for those folks.

Oh, since I got your eyeballs this far, here are three more things that should annoy every Dallas Cowboys fan right now.