Saturday Night Live kicked off this weekend’s cold open with a take on the impeachment hearings and Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky’s “love” of Donald Trump’s assets.
Alec Baldwin returned to play Trump, who addressed reporters in front of a mock version of Marine One.
“I know you probably have a lot of questions for me about this impeachment nonsense,” Baldwin’s Trump said. “I’d love to answer every single one of them, but as you can see from this very loud running helicopter behind me, I’m in a big hurry.”
He wasn’t getting off that easily. A gaggle of reporters — played by SNL regulars Mikey Day, Heidi Gardner, Alex Moffat, and Cecily Strong — continued to fire off questions.
Asked to comment on U.S. ambassador to the EU Gordon Sondland’s “damning” testimony, Baldwin tried to wiggle out of answering.
“I can’t really hear you, but it sounds like you said Ambassador Sondland’s testimony completely exonerated me,” he said.
Baldwin had notes written with a black sharpie to prove his innocence. “I love black magic markers,” he said. “They smell like licorice.”
He then read his handwritten transcript of a phone call with Sondland.
“He says to me ‘what do you want?’ and I answer ‘two large pies, extra cheese, extra sauce.'” Unfortunately, Baldwin realized the notes were from the wrong conversation. “Oh wait, here it is. ‘I want nothing. No quid pro quo bro.’ See. here it is.”
Appearing increasingly more shady, Baldwin’s Trump backtracked when asked how well he knows Sondland.
“Well I know him, but I don’t really know him, know him,” Baldwin said.
Enter Will Ferrell as Sondland. Baldwin pretended to meet him for the first time.
“Oh right,” Ferrell said as he played along. “I’m keeping the quid pro quo on the low low,” Ferrell quipped before imploring the reporters to go easy on Trump.
“You guys need to lay off my boy. Everybody loves his ass — Ukraine, Russia. They’ll do anything for this man. I know, I asked.”
Ferrell’s Sondland then dropped a bombshell, saying: “There definitely was” quid pro quo! And scene.
In addition to bringing laughs in the cold open, Ferrell served as host for the fifth time. Singer-songwriter King Princess was musical guest.