T-Mobile, Starry, Google, CeraVe, Skechers, and Kawasaki

T-Mobile, Starry, Google, CeraVe, Skechers, and Kawasaki
Screenshot: YouTube

Super Bowl LVIII, with its thrilling overtime finish and luxury box shots of Taylor Swift and Blake Lively, has come and gone, and so now we must honor those generous corporate patrons who shell out millions so Tom Brady can stay on television. This is all we have, for the staff of The A.V. Club has spent far more time stuffed in lockers than suiting up in the locker room.

Every so often, a Super Bowl commercial justifies the lies we tell ourselves, specifically that we’re only watching this game for the advertisements. Despite the over-reliance on celebrities willing to puncture their personas to squeeze a little bit of juice out of a can of Starry, Super Bowl commercials do what all great art does: Make us laugh, cry, and dream of a better world in which we solve all our problems through shopping. So come down from those Super Bowl highs and enjoy a rundown of the best commercials of the year—and maybe a couple that absolutely sucked—to celebrate the millions spent on convincing us that a Michelob Ultra sounds pretty good right about now.


This story originally appeared on The A.V. Club.

The Big Game is always a good excuse for a reunion. This year alone, we saw the reunions of Parks And Recreation stars Aubrey Plaza and Nick Offerman for Mountain Dew, Friends friends Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer, Twins stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito, and Swingers stars Vince Vaughn and a casino for BetMGM. Three-quarters of Booking.com’s 30 Rock reunion sees Tina Fey reaching out from across space-time to communicate with Jane Krakowski and Jack McBrayer. Unfortunately, the spot’s reach exceeds its grasp and includes Glenn Close for some reason. Well, not for some reason. It’s so Fey can look at the camera and ask, “Glenn Close?!” That probably would’ve worked better with Alec Baldwin, but we would’ve settled for Scott Adsit. Alas.

e.l.f. Cosmetics’ star-laden spot isn’t exactly what the teasers promised. What we thought would be another rung on Jury Duty’s Ronald Gladden’s ladder of success is actually another chance for Judge Judy and Meghan Trainor to steal the spotlight. Gladden doesn’t even get a word in as Judy makes the courtroom her own. Never mind that Judge Judy isn’t known for presiding over jury trials. Objection!

There is something delightfully lo-fi about this Skechers ad. The lighting, effects, and acting, from Tony Romo especially, feel slapdash, as if they only had a couple of hours to shoot this very expensive commercial. It’s the kind of problem that only a good premise can overcome. Thankfully, the concept, that people misspell “Skechers” (true) and repeated use of “T in these Skechers” is far too specific and weird to ignore. “I pity the fool who has to touch his shoes to put them on” might be the line of the night.

Dunkin’s series of Ben Affleck-led commercials are understandably beloved. After years of producing unofficial sponcon for the Massachussets-based coffee and donut chain, he revived his Cambridge accent and got to work pitching pastries. However, “Dunkings” is on the cusp of oversaturation. Between the guest stars (JLo, Jack Harlow, Fat Joe, and more) and Affleck’s song, not to mention the 900th Tom Brady cameo this Super Bowl commercial season, the ad just hangs together, mostly thanks to small-role master Matt Damon, who does frustrated humiliation like no one else.

Five years removed from the great Popeyes chicken sandwich rush of 2019, one of America’s great purveyors of fried chicken is letting everyone know that they also sell chicken with bones. Yup, they’re selling chicken wings now—even ones drenched in what appears to be Frosted Miniwheats frosting. Thankfully, Ken Jeong is in Community mode here as a dangerously naive moron who sheepishly asks, “The sailor man?” when discovering he was frozen by Popeyes. We’re glad someone finally asked.

Is Chris Pratt messing with us? He spent the whole Super Mario press tour downplaying any similarities between himself and the princess-saving plumber. Now, he’s growing a mustache because it reminds him of “Mr. P.”? First of all, his name is Julius Pringle. Mr. P lives in Florida. Second, in this reality, the stache is a hit, and Pratt’s getting roles and going viral based on his mustache instead of going viral for being miscast as Super Mario. What is going on? Did Pratt pitch this one? Is this some wish fulfillment for the backlash around that thing? For all the questions this raises, it has one lasting legacy: This commercial shall forever be the only place anyone on Earth can hear the words, “Chris Pratt is giving Mr. P.”

The Bud Light Genie is here to remove all the weird press Bud Light’s received since sending an Instagram influencer a special one-of-a-kind beer can. While the ad wizards at Anheuser-Busch have attempted to send Bud Light back to the heartland in recent nostalgic and patriotic spots, here, they’re back in Big Game wish fulfillment mode. Can you believe it? Peyton Manning in a commercial! Whoa, Post Malone! Hold the phone—a DeLorean limo! UFC President and a guy who was videotaped hitting his wife Dana White, too! All that’s surely enough to convince Big Game viewers to put down that other light beer and pick up a Bud Light.

Ever since NERDS dropped the teaser for its Big Game Commercial, one question has been on the lips of every person in America. It was a question so penetrating to the heart of human curiosity that it would take the world’s largest supercomputer or God himself to solve it: “Who is Addison Rae coaching?” It turns out it was a massive NERDS Cluster, a bite-sized NERDS Rope candy, which sounds delicious, doing a 30-second Flashdance parody. Addison, you never cease to surprise us.

There’s a startling lack of originality here, especially for Oreo, a cookie company whose whole deal is coming up with whacky flavors that aren’t as good as the original. Sorry, Golden and Double Stuf stans. While we can’t abide by the blatant swiping of the Geico Cavemen for the spot, we welcome Nabisco’s remix of Larry David’s disastrous FTX commercial. Still, Oreo leaning into “twist it” as a replacement for a coin flip is beyond flawed. Has a single person ever actually separated the two sides of an Oreo without one-half crumbling in their hands? Anyone who says yes is lying.

Jeff Goldblum in a little remake of Asteroid City is a pretty fun reminder of how good that movie is. Instead of visiting Apartments.com, consider watching Asteroid City, now on Peacock.

From the Twisted Mind of whoever recently saw a Lil’ Penny commercial comes Dr. Umstick, a puppet-sized spokesperson whose name comes curiously close to a Scrubs joke. Dr. Umstick is pretty cute, though, and Eric Andre’s performance as a diarrhetic passenger is as convincing as those too enraptured by Drumstick ice cream cones to care.

Wait, are they selling Baja Blast in stores now? That is a significant loss for Taco Bell and Mountain Dew. For one thing, the magic of Baja Blast is in its exclusive connection to Taco Bell. Without the Fire Sauce, it’s just another dude in a world of Dew. Apparently, this is in celebration of the Bajaversary, which freed Baja Blast from its Cheesy Gordita prison, and America’s sweetheart Aubrey Plaza makes a good case for Blast’s new plastic bottle form. Or, at least, distracts us from the obvious fact that it will not taste as good as it does when we live más.

Those who grew up in the 2000s will likely never feel comfortable with the great mullet revival of the 2020s. This was Joe Dirt’s haircut and the subject of a thousand Jackass jokes. We can never go back. The business-in-front/party-in-back hairdo will always be a mystery, but Kawasaki’s commercial comes closest to finding someone who actually looks pretty good with a mullet: Steve Austin. We don’t know why or how he ended up in this spot, but he looks better than the bald eagle.

One of the best things about Beyoncé is her selectivity. She doesn’t just do anything. After her initial spate of acting roles, which saw her playing the love interests of Austin Powers and Inspector Clouseau, she more or less backed off until Nala, a role she could not turn down, came around. The one thing Beyoncé has never been capital “G” great at is acting. Thankfully, this ad doesn’t lean on that too much, leaving much of the comedy to Tony Hale, who does his best with a cliche ad. It’s not a commercial worthy of Beyoncé’s incredible and unique talents, but it did launch a new Beyoncé album, Renaissance Act II, which probably places this spot among the most culturally significant advertisements ever produced. Verizon and Beyoncé fulfilled the prophecy and broke the internet.

Move over Sierra Mist, Slice, and Teem; Pepsi has a new lemon-lime soda to square off against Sprite and 7-Up. Unfortunately, the ad featuring Ice Spice in a polycule with an anthropomorphic cartoon lemon and lime is deeply disturbing. Obviously, the idea of a romance between Munch and two animated fruits is bizarre, but when a man personifying a deeply vulnerable Sprite enters the fray, it becomes an exercise in Cronenbergian body horror. Forget that weird Sprite ad starring Drake. There’s new lemon-lime nightmare fuel in the fridge.

Perhaps the most famous song in their catalog, The Band’s “The Weight,” is a cinematic cheat code. Play that steady rhythm behind any motion picture and immediately imbue it with, well, weight. It might even help viewers forget that Anheuser-Busch was accused of mutilating the tails of their beloved equines through a process called “docking,” which requires cutting through the tailbone. Anheuser promised to stop amputating horse tails for their beloved cart pullers, but should we hold this against them? Yes! We’re glad you stopped torturing your beer mascot, Budweiser, but the special thing about this ad is the song.

This ad absolutely rules for the first 13 seconds. A Super Bowl party reduced to spit takes, conniptions, and self-harm due to Reese’s changing the formula is kind of brilliant and very funny. The turn is a plot twist we can do without. It sounds like another limited-edition candy that isn’t as good as the original. At least the OG is there for us.

Is this the only sentimental commercial of the year? It might be. Google Pixel is touting its new AI-powered accessibility feature, which is maybe the most effective advertisement for this technology we’ve seen yet. It is a fascinating commercial and one of the few that shows how the product might actually work. Shown from the perspective of a visually impaired Pixel user, the commercial stands out amid a sea of ironic celebrity cameos and Flashdance parodies.

Who doesn’t love the M&Ms? Always sneaking up and killing Santa. But often, the more anthropomorphic they become, the sexier people find them. Er, the more strained their logic. Take this Super Bowl “Almost Champions” spot, which centers on the peanut butter M&M, a Reese’s Pieces stopgap if there ever was one (speaking of which, could you imagine losing out on E.T. and then releasing an inferior product? So embarrassing.) Now, there’s nothing wrong with peanut butter M&Ms (aside from not being Pieces). It feels thematically correct to call them the “almost champions,” if only because they sound better than they are, as opposed to the notorious Almond M&M, which came in a grey bag that screamed, “grown-up candy.” As far as star-laden Super Bowl commercials go, casting Scarlett Johansson as an “almost champion” breathing her Oscar-losing breath on M&Ms is pretty good.

Oikos’ “HOLD MY OIKOS” spot opens in media res, with Shannon Sharpe explaining how his golf cart ended up in the drink. Though both are dry as a bone, Martin Lawrence decides to wade the murky waters for the buggy, raising it over his head and throwing it back down on the course. As impressive as Oikos’ promise of 20 grams of protein is, we still like the first half of the commercial best, if only to imagine how strange it must’ve been for Sharpe to watch Lawrence dive into a yogurt cup mere moments after ejecting himself from a careening golf cart.

Is there anything more beautiful than the Coors Light train? Conducted by LL Cool J, the train barrels across the U.S. and delivers the ice-cold taste of the Rockies to empty mouths and Corona commercials everywhere. We’ve never related to an ad more than when the father of the bride turned away from the happiest moment of his baby’s life to gaze upon the train in all its glory and shed one frosty tear. Tap the Rockies, indeed.

There is a subgenre of Super Bowl commercials in which the joke is, “Doesn’t this celebrity have a funny voice?” State Farm based its whole campaign around Arnold Schwarzenegger having an accent, as hard as that is to believe. But while Walken impressions are played out, the man handles this tired concept with quiet bemusement, and it works.

We respect any star willing to take a job so their cat can get a paycheck. Kate McKinnon has had difficulty finding herself in her post-SNL career, but this Mayo Cat is a star and she knows it. Add a couple of points for the sharp bowtie, and a surprisingly good Pete Davidson joke, and Hellmann’s finds itself near the top of the list.

Great news, everyone! Dorito’s makes Takis now. Doritos Dinamita, purportedly named after Jenna Ortega’s grandmothers, Dina & Mita, is an action-packed romp of a commercial that locked down Ortega for a whole afternoon. Wednesday fans will be disappointed by the lack of goth in their teen queen here, but there’s plenty of Danny Ramirez parkour, and the ladies are fun in this Crank-inspired corn chip advertisement. They must find out who took all the Frito-Lays branded Takis. Their granddaughter will not go Dinamitaless.

Super Bowl commercials are good for one thing: Getting Patrick Stewart to acknowledge the existence of Arnold—whose last name is apparently “Shortman.” This collection of Paramount+ heavy hitters includes Lt. Dangle, Knuckles, Master Chief, Jeff Probst, Creed (because we have to pretend Creed is good now since there hasn’t been a new mainstream rock band since 2003), and Drew Barrymore (still rehabbing her image after the strikes). It’s a template Paramount’s been pushing for years now. Some of this is great (“Barrymore, shut your face”), and the Peppa Pig button is a delight. But is this overstuffed, like we’re getting into the hat-on-a-hat territory? Probably. Still, whenever he gets to do comedy, as he’s been doing for Paramount+ for years now, Stewart absolutely crushes.

Throughout this Super Bowl commercial season, we’ve concluded that we’re suckers any time an elder statesman maps their creative process onto a frivolous commercial. The Scorsese ad worked for us, and despite the unseen hand of Ryan Reynolds on this one, we love seeing Sir Anthony Hopkins get into the character of Wrexham FC mascot. This two-time Oscar winner puts in the work regardless of the role.

Sure, this one is fine. The use of the Perry Como song is excellent, and who doesn’t like looking at chocolate being poured into a mold? Playing it safe a bit, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

It certainly isn’t a surprise that celebrity-based commercials dominate the line-up this year. But for Dove and Google, which opted for emotion, the lack of famous faces helped the ads stand out. “Hard Knocks” from Dove, once again, taps into the brand’s ability to unite a poignant message with relatable imagery. Sure, it’s funny and cute, but the final image leaves space for an actual problem that needs attention.

Directed by Tim & Eric, the Michael Cera CeraVe advertisement is a celebrity endorsement worth paying attention to. Aside from introducing the world to unicorn dolphins (which speak a language Cera is fluent in), the ad is instructional, finally teaching people around the world to pronounce CeraVe.

Truth in advertising. Pluto TV is harvesting couch potatoes with its expansive programming and lack of payment. The ad takes a solid pun and expands into a pitch-perfect parody of ads for the heartland’s farmers with the ridiculous big stupid costumes of Fruit of the Loom or old-timey Chestfield cigarettes. You just can’t beat this type of on-screen chemistry.

Now we’re talking. Squarespace did the impossible and made a teaser for an ad people might want to see. Scorsese has long been a wildly entertaining screen presence (and commercial presence), but his daughter Francesca, through her TikTok videos, has found a way to translate their adorable relationship to the masses. Their teaser outshines the actual commercial, which Scorsese directed and probably qualifies as his first work of science fiction. Nevertheless, the final product is zippy and engaging in a way the rest of the crop, overstuffed with guest stars and layers of irony that mostly amount to people looking at the camera to say, “Well, that just happened,” are not. As Scorsese would say, this commercial slaps.

But the teaser is the real money. Even getting to see a heightened version of his process is revealing. The way he thinks about what a website feels, what it thinks about, the way he and Francesca laugh about the Upper West Side. It’s nice! And kind of beautiful.